Rest, or else.

     The topic of rest continues to challenge me.  I want to move on, but I also want to give "rest" more time and see if there's more for me to learn.  I have some time off from some volunteer service that I do.  It feels strange-- and good.  I am tired.  Exhausted really.  I get overwhelmed easily.  That is a flag for me to notice that I need some rest.  No one is going to make me rest--they can't and they won't.  Also, expecting others to do something in order for me to be able rest is a recipe for resentment, which is not restful.  I am responsible to ask for time and space to rest and actually rest.  I appreciate that I have friends that gently remind me that rest is good and encourage me to do so.
     I can tend to get in survival mode trying to manage the many aspects of my life.  I forget to save time and energy for the creativity that nourishes me (and also seems to sometimes nourish other people with whom I share it).  I understand that survival mode could eventually lead to a physical or psychological collapse that would halt everything.  I do not want that.
     I want to choose ways to rest.  Are there things I can let go of?  Even temporarily? Are there moments I can pause and allow rest to enter my body and mind?  Giving time to creativity, as I am doing here, is refreshing in some ways.  I try to be gentle in my expectations of myself.  I need to balance responsibilities and rest.  One day at a time I will seek that balance. 
                                                                                                     -Linda T. Hurd