The topic of rest continues to challenge me. I want to move on, but I also want to give "rest" more time and see if there's more for me to learn. I have some time off from some volunteer service that I do. It feels strange-- and good. I am tired. Exhausted really. I get overwhelmed easily. That is a flag for me to notice that I need some rest. No one is going to make me rest--they can't and they won't. Also, expecting others to do something in order for me to be able rest is a recipe for resentment, which is not restful. I am responsible to ask for time and space to rest and actually rest. I appreciate that I have friends that gently remind me that rest is good and encourage me to do so.
I can tend to get in survival mode trying to manage the many aspects of my life. I forget to save time and energy for the creativity that nourishes me (and also seems to sometimes nourish other people with whom I share it). I understand that survival mode could eventually lead to a physical or psychological collapse that would halt everything. I do not want that.
I want to choose ways to rest. Are there things I can let go of? Even temporarily? Are there moments I can pause and allow rest to enter my body and mind? Giving time to creativity, as I am doing here, is refreshing in some ways. I try to be gentle in my expectations of myself. I need to balance responsibilities and rest. One day at a time I will seek that balance.
-Linda T. Hurd
LeTtiNg iT gO BLoG
Linda T. Hurd.